Part 4: Bringing Medicine Back to the Tribe

Does getting ahead in life the way our society defines it, in and of itself, satisfy you?

Is achieving "success" for yourself-or even your loved ones-mean you've reached your destination and you can finally relax and enjoy the fruits of your labor?

Or do you find yourself asking, as Peggy Lee sang back in 1969, "Is that all there is?!"

OK, so those are leading questions-I don't think you're still on this web site reading because you're a person who would answer "yes" to the first two.

"You have control over action alone, never over its fruits. Live not for the fruits of action, nor attach yourself to inaction."-The Bhagavad-Gita

"When Krishna instructed Arjuna that we have a right to our labor but not to the fruits of our labor, he was counseling the warrior to act territorially, not hierarchically. We must do our work for its own sake, not for fortune or attention or applause."-Steven Pressfield in "The War of Art."

During my childhood, my mother used to tell me and my brothers stories about growing up in The Great Depression of the 1930s. The one I most recall is what she learned (and wanted us to learn) about her father's character.

He came from a family of farmers. The farm was outside of the small town of Dawson in western Minnesota. My grandfather was the oldest but, instead of taking over the farm as was customary, he went to college and became a pharmacist. The fact he had bad allergies apparently made that choice for him. Of course, like the local doctor and veterinarian, he knew just about everybody in town and the surrounding farms. My mother said that The Depression often made going to town to fill prescriptions a luxury. People would skip or reduce their doses or just stop taking their medicine altogether, and my grandparents felt terrible about it.

Therefore, my Grandpa would make sure people got what they needed and either they could pay him back when they could afford to, pay him in goods or services, or just "not worry about it." She said he served on the school board for many years and described him and my grandmother as well-loved and respected.

My mother died in January of 2020. As I was reflecting on her life and her stories, it occurred to me that my grandfather was my first role model for "Bringing Medicine Back to the Tribe" (for the origins of that phrase in my life, keep reading).

Here at Formal Rhubarb, the approach is to fulfill our dream creative projects and goals as an end in itself as well as a means to an end. In other words, it's based on the premise that just striving for or achieving traditional forms of success for ourselves isn't enough. That personal growth is a social responsibility-that is, we are obligated to fulfill our callings and dreams in order to be in the best position to assist others to do so and to contribute to our communities...and just maybe the whole human family. Recall that old analogy about being in an airplane emergency: you put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you put one on a child or person who cannot do it for themselves. If you don't, you are not fully capable of saving them/assisting others, and you could both perish, or applied more generally, you both suffer.

Therefore, in order to make a difference that makes a difference in the world, we must continually address the needs and aspirations of our minds, bodies, and spirits or "souls." We all need to identify and enhance our strengths as well as prevent our more challenging areas from holding us back or weakening our impact.

And vice versa: I believe fulfilling work or worldly success just to feed our egos or bank accounts will leave us feeling empty...unless we are self-centered or narcissistic people, of course. (And I think you would have left this web site already if that was true in your case.) Buddhist master, Lama Surya Das, emphasizes that an engaged, helpful life is a core teaching of the Buddha, that a vision of a life committed to altruism and helping others in any way that we can is what Buddha himself called his "one teaching." Of course, others have tried to get this side of the story across-often quite forcefully!:

"If you are deaf, dumb, and blind to what's happening in the world, you're under no obligation to do anything. But if you know what's happening and you don't do anything but sit on your ass, then you're nothing but a punk." (Assata Shakur)

Franz Kafka asked us to consider the impact on ourselves if we enter the arena of assisting others and/or working for social change:

"You can hold yourself back from the sufferings of the world, that is something you are free to do and it accords with your nature, but perhaps this very holding back is the one suffering you could avoid."

In fact, I started this web site because I see that genuine and progressive change in the world depends on what I feel are two sides of the same "evolutionary coin," so to speak, and I wanted to contribute to such change in the world with greater depth and breadth. I want to complete my creative projects and learn what the process has to teach me and how that will make me more effective in other areas.

I've learned that, when I'm going through a difficult period, if I remember that many other people are experiencing the same thing and, once I get to the other side of that suffering or roadblock, I will be better able to assist them.

OR, coming from the other direction:

If I start working to assist others or work for the kind of change in the world I want to see, I inevitably discover that it has transformative effects on me. My work as a psychologist has shown me this over and over.

My Motivation

In 1998, I was nearing the end of graduate school in psychology. When I had to decide on a doctoral internship, a classmate kept trying to convince me to go to one of the biggest HR consulting firms in the world (a kind of firm that epitomizes the Industrial-Organizational, "corporate-whore wing of psychology"). I first said, "Forget it, man--what do I know about that?! And besides, they're helping large corporations do the rotten things they do even better, right?!"

But he kept on me and one day I let my guard down for some reason and my curiosity and interest were stimulated. Even though I wasn't trained in an Industrial-Organizational program like most people who work in those types of firms, I did the interview with his supervisor and I knew they would offer me an internship. The decision was killing me-I was both anxious and excited at the same time.

The Dream of Soul Initiation

Then, the last week before "Match Day," I had the exact same dream two nights in a row:

I was in a house or small building with a bunch of people. They were very frightened because a pack of wolves was surrounding the house, pacing and looking for an opening to get in. For some reason, I wasn't afraid. The leader of the wolf pack came to the door-which suddenly opened!

He entered and just stared at me. Our lips didn't move, but we communicated. He nodded his head and left and everyone was safe. Then I woke up feeling a  little calmer and relieved.

After I had that dream once again the next night, I figured something more than "just a dream" was going on.

I suddenly had the thought that I should look up the wolf in a deck of Native American animal cards (apparently used like Tarot cards) that someone had given me years before. [Regarding the cards & wolf symbolism, please see note at the end of this page.] I had no idea where they were and it took a long time to dig them out. Among other things, the card said that the Wolf journeys out to then "Bring Medicine Back to the Tribe." I thought: "bring medicine back to what tribe?!" Luckily, I remembered what my mentor and friend, Brad Keeney, once wrote:

"Dreams are the guide to this new way of filling the internal emptiness. What one is shown or told in dream must be found in the natural world. When it is found, the outer and the inner become one. [emphasis added] In this way our inner ecology unites with the outer ecology making the distinction between the two impossible. When this takes place we move more toward a oneness with the whole natural world. We become all of our relatives. Knowing that the inside is one with the outside enables us to be in the outside with complete awareness. In this way we surrender our limited mind to become a part of a Greater Mind. This Greater Mind constitutes the mind of healing." from Shaking Out the Spirits: A Psychotherapist's Entry into the Healing Mysteries of Global Shamanism by Brad Keeney.

Then it hit me: I needed to go to the "Evil Empire" in Psychology-that internship-and learn what I could that could be brought back to…actually, I didn't quite know who I'd be bringing it back to yet. At any rate, the internship turned out to be extremely nerve wracking and one of the hardest things I've ever done! I didn't really belong and they eventually figured that out, although they had no complaints about my work except that I didn't do enough of it (i.e., work 50 to 60 hrs. a week!) and that I wasn't self-promoting enough (which was true). Luckily, I worked under an amazing mentor, Harry Brull, who focused on the public sector and I was given some pro bono work to do for a non-profit that had asked for help. Bingo!

That began a short side career working with non-profits doing coaching and consulting. Didn't pay anything, but it was very rewarding to help organizations with missions I completely supported.

This story has framed my professional life ever since, and it's now one of the cornerstones of Formal Rhubarb.

"We are each born with what Carl Jung called a personal myth, or what I call a mythopoetic identity, through which we can find and occupy our destined place or niche in our cultural and ecological world, somewhat like the way monarch butterflies are born with the ability to find their way from Canada to the exact spot in Mexico that their ancestors left five generations earlier."--Bill Plotkin In The Journey of Soul Initiation: A Field Guide for Visionaries, Evolutionaries, and Revolutionaries.

On the one hand, creating this web site will assist me in working on my long neglected creative dreams as a musician and songwriter. On the other, I also want to pass on the "medicine" I've been blessed with over the years (and that I keep discovering) to assist you in manifesting your creative dream.

"A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle."-James Keller

But, as you're probably realizing by now, that's not the end of it. Formal Rhubarb wants to help you bring back the medicine to your tribe...and the Formal Rhubarb tribe right here-we all need you!

What do I mean by that-that "we all need you"?!

I make home visits and I once worked with a client who was quite disabled and unable to leave her home very often due to both medical and mental health reasons. She felt ashamed and discouraged she could not make a contribution to the lives of others because this was a very strong value of hers. I was very moved by her sincerity and pain and, at first, didn't know to respond to her. Luckily, I soon came across a spiritual teacher and healer and I mentioned this person's suffering. He responded that, as long as she had love in her heart and the intention to help, that was actually making a difference in the world and contributing to the greater good, even if she couldn't often directly interact with people or witness the results of her efforts. I suggested she meditate or pray with her intention and send out positive support and love on a daily basis. This contributed to her growth and healing and she eventually was able to go out into the community on a regular basis and she now does some amazing work in her community!

So we all need you, too: no matter how little energy or power you think you have to make a difference, your intention and willingness to try makes a difference! Formal Rhubarb needs your help to create a community of like-minded souls who believe this is true and are doing what they can to get going on their creative projects to improve their lives and the lives of others.

In other words, people who realize that learning and changing are required to make the biggest impact on others and, conversely, that making a positive impact on others will actually help reach their own creative and developmental goals.

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do it. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive."-Harold Thurman Whitman, Philosopher and Theologian

As the saying goes, not being dead is not the same as being alive!

Examples of how you can contribute here include adding comments to pages and posts, sending feedback in emails, and, eventually, joining a Formal Rhubarb online community I'd like to establish if there's enough interest and when the time is right.

"The truth is we can't become ourselves by ourselves, and we actually need to learn how to open up and receive and generate support at an unprecedented level."-Claire Zammit

 

Map vs. Compass

I believe people need a Life Compass that will get them where they actually want to go…and also help bring the tribe along with them. Unfortunately, most self-help gurus just offer what I would call "Life Maps." It's true that a good map will get you to your destination, but it will not help you decide on a destination. It won't tell you what makes the most sense for you, makes the most sense for others, and what's best for the world we live in today. Without this kind of assistance, those maps will likely have you taking unnecessary detours. I've been studying maps for many years and I know some good ones I will pass on to you, but I plan on emphasizing the compass, assisting you to see if you (and we) are on the right track...or, put another way, following "your medicine way:"

"We have forgotten that life holds a unique story for us all. A thread made up of faint signs that lead to the manifestation of something unique. What the native people call 'your medicine way.' Something that only you can give to the world. Inside you is the wild part of you that knows what your gift, purpose, and mission are. That part of you is wild and elusive. It cannot be captured, as it is always evolving. To live on its trail, you must become a tracker." from The Lion Tracker's Guide To Life by Boyd Varty

Formal Rhubarb is what I've created--or, better, what I'm creating--from all I've learned.

Let me conclude with some specific beliefs I hold that form aspects of that Formal Rhubarb compass to help you decide if you'd like to join me here:

• • People are tired of being judged (or judging themselves) as defective. People looking for help who no longer want to be seen as helpless. Most people admit there are things they need to learn from others, but are tired of helpers who don't listen to them or trust their resourcefulness. They want help and advice and also want to share their wisdom and experience to help others.

 

• • People are disempowered when given jobs and tasks that do not allow them to put their own stamp on the result. The way our economy is structured makes people cynical (as workers in the old Soviet Union used to say, "We pretend to work and they pretend to pay us."). I believe the super-wealthy ruling class is invested in preventing the outcomes we seek such as peace, social justice, and economic and climate stability for everyone.

 

• • People-especially young people-have been rejecting the mainstream norms of identity and behavior since the 1960s so they can stay sane in an insane world, a world that makes little sense; but the price of this sort of sanity is still too high. People stripped of power will look for and find ways to fight back through either withdrawing or resisting. Powerless people will often be violent toward themselves or others...or both. ["The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth."--African Proverb "A riot is the language of the unheard...What is it that America has failed to hear?"--Martin Luther King, Jr.] Cultural, racial, ethnic, religious, class, and gender boundaries must be crossed and divisions healed to bring justice and peace and fulfill human potential.

 

• • People have been seduced by our larger culture, a global society that attempts to pin us down and make sure we fit into narrow categories. People have rebelled against it or wanted to, but keep wondering if they're wrong to do so. We've wondered if our rebellion-our defiance-is the reason we feel so bad…or guilty...or confused. (I believe it should help us feel inspired and empowered.) Eventually, the powers-that-be don't need to do anything or say anything: we discover we started disempowering ourselves.

 

 

"If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers."-Thomas Pynchon in "Gravity's Rainbow"

 

• • People need a place that protects their authenticity and story and/or helps to re-author their disempowered story. A place to protect against invisibility, apathy, and mediocrity.

 

• • People need a place where they can feel at home; they want to belong to a community and also stand out as a unique, irreplaceable voice. A place where they belong and don't have to apologize for who they are anymore. A place where, instead of having to conform to what people expect, what the past predicts they'll do or who'll they'll be, they can be free. Free to explore. Free to experiment. Free to make mistakes--expected to make mistakes, in fact (and learn from them).

 

• • People who will feel at home here are often tired of family, friends, and professionals who see them as victims and weak and different. They're tired of not being asked about how they're strong. Tired of just being asked about problems and what went wrong and not ever being asked about what sorts of things make them lose track of time and enter "the Zone" or "Flow."

 

• • People need a place that helps take things that don't seem to be related and find a way they make sense together. People need help to understand that access to unlimited information via the internet is not enough: we must have an understanding of how knowledge fits into what is happening in our lives and in the world right now. This creates passion for using education and resources to make a difference.

 

• • People are looking for places where "profit" is not just more money, material assets, or attention and fame. People are looking for inspiration and also want to be seen as inspiring.

 

I believe that Formal Rhubarb can only do well if it helps you do do well. We should all do this because it helps us live better lives. Formal Rhubarb wants people here who feel the same way, who want to help and inspire others as well as get help and inspiration.

As we keep traveling in the right direction and we begin to find the "patterns that connect" and connect with each other, we can reduce our discouragement, despair, depression, and anxiety and increase our enthusiasm and confidence. In fact, I believe enthusiasm will bring us confidence even when we start with fear and self-doubt. That when we're excited we can do things that are also scary!

I invite you to sign up below for my free newsletter that includes hand-picked resources to inspire, educate, and, yes, even entertain you. You will have access to the free article, "How to Get Unstuck Without Feeling Like a Schmuck." It includes exercises to inspire and motivate taking things to the next level.

End Note regarding my use of the Native American cards & wolf symbolism:

First, please note that I am not an indigenous person and I do not mean any disrespect to the Native American community/American Indian tribes. I realize someone might wonder if I was trying to "play Indian" or claim some kind of legitimacy because I randomly used those cards back then. I learned years ago that the indigenous people of North, Central, and South America have the right to judge how their traditions are utilized, and I would not dispute that my use of the cards was not necessarily in line with tradition or that it was an example of a clumsy white guy trying to find an answer in the wrong places. I am merely telling a true story that forms a metaphor for the purpose and mission here at Formal Rhubarb.

Second, I sometimes wonder what I would've done had I used more traditionally European symbolism for the wolf to try to understand my dream. "Lupus in fabula" ("speak of the devil" or "wolf in the fairy tale") from ancient Latin or Italian concerns the wolf that often appears to disrupt our lives. We're all familiar with the wolf as a demonic being or omen, but it historically has been both negative and a more positive symbol:

"Wolves occasionally provided help but also became a means of liberation, redemption and sometimes, an instrument of divine punishment."

Therefore, I may have taken it as a green light to accept the internship or, more likely, I might've fallen back on my cultural bias to see it as a warning to avoid it. Ahhh, fate...

For more on the Formal Rhubarb philosophy and approach, please see:

Part 1: Roll Up for the Magical Mystery Tour of Your Soul

Part 2: When You Get Hit By Life, Ask "What's the Counterpunch?"

Part 3: The Formal Rhubarb Difference that Makes a Difference

Part 5: No Book Has Just One Chapter: Re-Author Your Life & Make a Difference

Making It Up As I Go Along

Why Things Are So Messed Up